Of Fanboys, Spare Time, and Sappy Fanfiction
by Jia-BlackHoleSun
Summary: Or, How Snake tries to save Otacon from himself in the battle against sappy fanfics. Almost perfectly clean, mentions the Gundam Wing series a lot, Slight yaoi in the Sappy Ficinafic. R


A/N: So, I don't own MGS, and the Fic-in-a-fic was not written by me, either. That was written for my by mah good friend Macavity. This is for her, by the way. Oh, and I don't own Gundam wing, either. Enjoy!

"_Heero, don't walk away!" Luminescent amethyst eyes gleamed with pain and longing anguish. "Heero, I'm sorry! I never meant to hurt you so!"_

"_Hurt me?" the Perfect Soldier replied coldly. "You imply that you could hurt me? You insult me, Shinigami."_

_He turned his back and walked away, each thudding footstep echoing like the drums of a gallows march in the cold, dark hallway. Tears began to stream from the other pilot's violet orbs, each glistening droplet deepening his misery._

"_Heero, wait...! I...I..."_

_The Soldier half-turned. "What, Duo."_

"_I...I love you!"_

"Hal? What are you still doing at your computer? It's one in the freaking morning!"

Hal Emmrich, Fan boy extraordinaire, (AKA Otacon)jumped up and threw his arms around the computer monitor, attempting to hide the ridiculously sappy Yaoi fan fiction he had been writing (and crying over) for the past 4 hours. Unfortunately, this didn't help much as Solid Snake had been staring over his shoulder for five minutes.

"Nothing! I'm not doing anything! I'm certainly not writing Gundam Wing fan fiction and posting it on the internet!"

"Hal, are you _crying_? Cos then you'll short out the keyboard and your Boss would fire you, and you won't be able to write any more sappy fan fiction on company computers."

"WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT MY FANFICTION?" Hal paused a second. "…That. Doesn't. Exist."

Snake smirked. "You did, smart boy."

"Did not!"

"Did too."

"When?" Hal was starting to sound panicky.

"Just now. Can't keep a secret for anything, couldja? You know, for an intelligent person you aren't very smart. I mean, you don't even know that the big old battle robot that YOU designed is going to be used to destroy the Capitol city in a few hours unless the Government gives in to terrorist demands."

Hal rolled his eyes. "Shows how much YOU know. I only design nuclear weaponry for the forces of GOOD! That's what Duo Maxwell would do."

"Hal, you are an idealistic MORON."

"What makes you say that?"

"…You really have NO idea what's going on in the real world, do you? When was the last time you read the news?"

"But the news is so depressing. Why be depressed when I have all 49 episodes and the movie of Gundam Wing to watch?"

"Hal, you have those memorized. You were contemplating giving your box set to Sniper Wolf."

Hal blushed bright red. "I was not!"

"Hal, you talk in your sleep. Oddly coherently. You have the worst case of unrequited love I've seen since Mulder and Scully on the later seasons of X-Files. Except in your case it's one-sided."

Hal looked at Snake blankly. "X-files?"

"Hal? Do you EVER get out of the building? Do you EVER turn on your Television set to watch something other than Anime? Do you ever sleep, for that matter? This is the fifth time this month that I've found you in here at this time of night, and it's only the 8th. Do you have ANY semblance of a life?"

"Why? You think I need one?"

"Hal, What I think you need is a girlfriend. In real life, not on the internet."

Hal fell out of his chair. "I do NOT need a..." he sputtered as he practically choked on the last word, "Girlfriend."

"Sure you do. When was the last time you went out on a date?"

"Date?"

"You know, Date. Movies, Dinner, Coffee...With a girl...Who you aren't related to…"

Hal got back into his chair, "Um...Aw, jeez..."

"Hah! I was RIGHT! You DO need a life! You haven't gone out on a date in your life, have you? I bet you haven't left this complex in a month."

Hal's eyes brightened, for he finally had an answer for all the accusations Snake was making. "I have so! I went to my Gundam Wing RPG last Tuesday."

"Hal, that means you were acting like a fan boy geek, in a cold damp basement, with a bunch of other fan boy geeks, doing nothing more than pretending away your lonely little lives by pretending to be one of your idolized cartoon characters with the aid of handbooks and 20 sided dice. I don't think that really counts, do you?"

"They aren't CARTOONS. They're _Anime. _Oh, and Does so. One of the RPers is a girl."

Snake raised an eyebrow. "Reeeeaaaaly?"

"Yup!"

Snake thought for a few seconds. If he didn't come up with a good retort soon, he would lose this discussion for sure, and Hal would be stuck in his technological cave slowly turning the color of cream cheese, with nobody to keep him company but the sappy dorks in his fan fiction. Suddenly, he thought of a way out of this conundrum.

"She's dating one of the other guys, isn't she?" This was more of a statement than a question.

Hal sighed. "Yeah."

"You see? I win. Now, whaddya say we catch a ferry to the mainland, drive to Anchorage and drink until our brains explode or they kick us out?"

"Umm…Can I save this first? It's for a competition between me and a few of my online buddies and the deadline is next week."

Snake sighed. "Only if you stop describing peoples eyes as luminescent. It sounds cheesy."

"Fine."

Reviews would be nice…and reprocated…

_THE END _


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